David Cameron believes people should wear a jumper to help them save on their energy bills this winter. That's not his only piece of bizarre cost of living advice.
#1. Baking Bad
David Cameron doesn’t have a clue about the price of a loaf because, he says, he bakes his own.
“You set the timer [of the bread-maker] overnight so when you wake up there is this wonderful smell wafting through your kitchen. It takes 30 seconds to put in the ingredients,” Cam said.
A Panasonic SD2500 Breadmaker costs £100 – pricey when inflation has been rising faster than wages for 39 of the last 40 months.
#2. Put a jumper on
British Gas announced yesterday that bills would go up by an average of 9.2 per cent for 8 million customers. Unwilling to do anything meaningful about rising gas bills, Cameron did have one piece of advice for pensioners feeling the chill this winter: wear a jumper.
“He is not going to prescribe the actions that individuals should take but if people are giving that advice that is something that people may wish to consider,” a spokesperson for David Cameron said.
#3. Let them use i-pads
If you’re finding retirement lonely, Cameron won’t provide you with better publicly funded social care, but instead will give you an i-Pad. This would provide lonely pensioners with a “link to the outside world” by allowing them to hold “video conferences with friends and family”, ministers have said.
A potentially good idea is hamstrung slightly by the fact that very few 90-year-olds know a thing about touch-screen tablets, e-mails and video conferencing.
#4. Fracking
Cameron believes that communities will receive £1 million each “immediately” from fracking. In reality, they will get £100,000 – a tenth of Cam’s estimate – if they allow fracking in their local area.
Don’t worry about the earth tremors, mind.
Perhaps it’s no surprise that David Cameron is officially the worst Prime Minister in recorded history on living standards
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8 Responses to “David Cameron’s cost of living tips”
Graham Ward
Can’t see them allowing fracking in my bit of Suffolk – not with a nuclear power station just down the road at Sizewell, So who’s going to give us 100k?
Sarah Hermione Tyrer
you weren’t going to get it anyway Graham, so I wouldn’t worry about it – and the hundred thousand won’t pay for the water pollution etc that needs clearing up. it’ll end up costing taxpayer a fortune, but the private company doing the fracking will make squillions – so good for the economy. apparently.
julie howard
Yet another vision from Camoron which is completely and unbelievably ridiculous. Lets give a 90 year old and ipad to contact family and friends, a person who most likely has no idea on how to use this or to be able afford internet connection?? Not to mention the fact that they are likely to be made an even more desirable target for crime?
Nice one you fool!
Guest
Cam has it! lies on lies on lies. When it comes to fracking the little boy sees what he wants to see and that is that everyone will live happily ever after and the fracking fluid is so clean that everybosdy will be making absolkutley super tea and hot drinks with it sand what doesn’t stay in tyhe earth to poisen the soil and any water that should come down that way before turning back up ‘ Put it this way Uncle David -I hate you. (and all your mates!)
John Quayle
MAY BE cam moron should FRACK OFF………….